its the last day of the year and i’m feeling like sunflowers in the winter

mood : lamenting
music : Omission – John Frusciante

This song is so horribly good, it makes me feel like a zombie. Actually, maybe that’s because I haven’t been sleeping well lately and that has then resulted in my mind experiencing a total void-like effect, which is certainly not exactly wonderful in anticipation of the start of school.

My sister has just imparted some of her knowledge to me by telling me that balls used to be made out of pig bladders. How genius.

Anyway, the year is over and I have made certain goals (resolutions, they are called) – I just went to switch off the lights for my genius sister, who complained that they were making her brain heat up haha – and this is the first time I have ever felt such strange determination and want and desire to follow through with the goals.

Have I mentioned that this song is addictive, because it is. Haha. I haven’t gotten the chance to review the lyrics yet, I bet they’re evil so for now I think I shall just live as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.

I have just checked out the country’s media development authority thing. They’re on a lookout for first time writers and illustrators. $$! And as I go through the paragraphs carefully, I find that its a competition for comic and graphic novel people only. Isn’t that such a let down. I can’t trust advertisements anymore, especially ones that invoke a special ‘HEY THIS COULD BE STEP ONE TO MY DREAM!’ mindset because in this country, your dream is a million, million miles away. Comic novels, honestly! I thought there was already enough (insert great super/spider/bat)man people to go around with.

I need to start working (for those goals). And sleeping more I suppose, otherwise I better check whether I suffer from insomnia.

COME ON GOALS GOALS GOALS. shattum!

and i bet you don’t care about my latest tragedy, do you!

mood : hopeful
music : In The Remote Part Of Scottish Fiction – Idlewild (yes! back to sanity now, right! think again.)

So I have finally decided to bring this blog back to life, not because I really want to but simply because I have nothing else to do. Or rather, I have things to do but I am in no mood to do them.

It comes to my attention that there’s this part of the song where it does seem like the guy is out to brainwash people but then again, due to the current circumstances perhaps it would be better if I was indeed brainwashed and then I would forget all of life’s miseries and be as happy as a bee!

I haven’t been sleeping well, and vivid dreams are tampering with my mind very often now. Last night, I dreamt my appeal didn’t get accepted and I cried and cried and cried and ran away from home and only cheered up after I bought myself bucketfuls of KFC. Haha! Oh well, life goes on.

I bet you have been wondering what exactly I was up to (and no, I have only watched less-than-how-many-you-have-expected-me to watch korean dramas, they’re getting so sad now I can’t bear to watch them) I have been writing a novel! And it is, novel-length. At least I think it is, it took me the longest of times. I am about 2/3s done and I feel pretty accomplished. However, its getting rather sad as well, (sad in, sad out!) and its rather hard to pour it all out.

Since I feel odd about blogging now, I shall stop here. Plus, I wrote an extremely nice letter to my friends and I have impressed myself yet again. Not only was the letter wonderful and touching (hahaha) I have managed to close it without saving it AGAIN! And that is why, you haven’t received your shoutouts and that ginormous email from me yet. But that doesn’t mean I have forgotten you all, I still love you guys muchos. (:

Ta, and see you when I next get bored and sad. Haha